"I wonder if gratitude is the uniformed doormen of the heart needing to be healed."- Kelle Hampton
I have felt this so strongly since Ryan's death. The need to cling to the truth that there are still things in life to be valued, cherished, treasured and grateful for. I can see now that this can be a way to help the heart to heal from pain that feels to big to bear. It is a way of allowing the mind to stay clear and present to the things that still matter. I have so many things in my life that I am grateful for. The list is endless and I am reminded of them often as I flip through the pages in my gratitude journal that carefully outlines the abundant blessings in my life that come in so many forms.
Today I want to take notice of a few things that have been particularly tugging at my heart strings and making me aware of my feelings of gratitude. Family dinners have become an valued routine in our household. Although they are important let me preface this by saying that family dinners need not be fancy, elaborate or even home cooked to evoke the feelings that I am so grateful for. The importance of the dinners is the connectedness that I feel within our small family. A moment to slow down and appreciate one another free from outside distractions even if only for a few precious minutes. The routine begins with Brylie sitting at the head of our dining room table in her high chair with Nick and I on either side. Brylie usually takes a few bites of her food and then closes her eyes reaches out her tiny little hands and says the word "bessing." To most people this wouldn't mean much, but to Nick and I it means the world. Our little Brylie is the one who encourages us on most nights to say a blessing and to take time to give thanks for our life, our journey, and our family. Each time we do this I too with half closed eyes watch as Brylie's adorable face tries to keep her beautiful blue eyes closed and anxiously awaits the last line where she can say "amen" and clap with excitement. This little child reminds me each day that there is beauty in most everything. She has taught me that being a mommy is the most rewarding and challenging thing I will ever do. That each joy and heartache deserves moments of gratitude for the incredible journey we are on and the life that is transformed by that journey.
