Brother Bear

I have been reluctant to write on the blog for some time.  It is hard to get past the tragedy that has taken place since my last post.  I feel compelled to address this aspect of our life before continuing to post about what our family has been up to.  My heart has been dealing with the pain and loss of my baby brother.  I can’t even begin to describe or put into words the sadness that is felt when someone you love leaves this world. 

Through this difficult time I am learning a lot about myself.  I am learning the reality that loss and suffering in life is inevitable and how dramatically it can alter and affect the lives of those touched to the one who is lost.  I am learning that it is your response to the loss that can make all the difference.  Your response involves the choices you make, the grace you receive and the transformation that you allow to take place.   I am learning that the choices I am choosing for myself are to live in the present, be filled with gratitude and take advantage of every moment.  I am learning the grace that can be received through God, family and friends.  I am learning that I am stronger than I ever imagined possible.  I am learning that dealing with loss is a journey that is sometimes met with unforeseen challenges, obstacles and sadness. 

Ryan you will be forever missed, but I feel your spirit and presence around me constantly.  I am learning that even though you are no longer here physically that I can incorporate your inescapable presence in almost every aspect of my life.  I feel you in the stillness of the open air, the beauty of the outdoors, the love and innocence of Brylie, the strength of the wind that blows so furiously against the window panes, the playfulness of Bella, the transformation within a sunset, but most importantly I feel you within my heart daily.  You are and will always be such a treasured part of who I am.

Ryan I have faith that we will meet up again one day, but until that day comes I am happy to know that you are my angel brother bear above.  I love you!!

This picture was taken of Ryan and Brylie days after her birth.  He was so loving, kind and protective of his niece. 

 Ryan with his sisters and nieces a moment to be remembered and cherished.