Brylie's 2nd Birthday!!

What a difference 2 years makes!!

      2010                                                          2011                                                    2012

We feel so very lucky to have Brylie in our lives.  She lights up our world and give us such joy.  To celebrate her special day we had birthday breakfast, mommy daughter trip to Starbucks, fun with Mima, swimming, dinner and cake.  It was a wonderful day for our adorable 2 year old daughter.

Brylie's 2nd Birthday Breakfast table.                    Her new bike!!

We were very excited to use her special birthday plate given to her by Granbrad and GranB for her 1st birthday.  It will be such a fun tradition to use year after year.

Taking her bike for the first test drive

  Birthday pancakes with a candle on top.

Blowing out her candle.

What a lucky girl that Daddy goes into work late on her birthdays!! She asked Nick to put on her birthday hat and said "Daddy you look like a princess" She makes us laugh constantly.

 Auntie Ally, Uncle John and cousin Avery were so sweet to send her a scooter for her birthday.  She loves it and was able to get up and going pretty easily.  So funny that my sister and I didn't even talk about our gifts and they ended up being matching.  Great minds think alike.

Taking a little ride in her diaper and birthday hat

Mommy daughter trip to Starbucks

 She got a special treat and was able to get a birthday cake pop for her 2nd birthday.

 Mima came over later for swimming, dinner and cake.

 We made homemade pizza for the birthday girl.  She loved wearing her apron and using her rolling pin to roll out the dough.

 The birthday girl had to take a bite out of the cake the we baked together.  When I asked her what kind of cake she wanted her response with such enthusiasm was "A pink cake... like pinkalicious."

Carefully opening her present from Mima.  Mima has started giving each of her two granddaughters a charm on their birthdays.  So special!

Letter to My 2 Year Old

I sit here in disbelief that my little baby is already 2 years old.  We feel blessed everyday for the joy, love and happiness that she brings into our lives.  Below is my letter to our 2 year old, Brylie on her Birthday.  

Brylie,

My angel daughter it is hard to believe that it has been 2 years since you blessed our lives.  I am continually thankful for the person that you are growing into and the woman that you are shaping me to be.  Thank you for opening my world and giving me a joy beyond my comprehension.  You make your Daddy and I so unbelievably happy and proud.   

Brylie you are a strong willed, smart, clever, and loving little girl. You amaze your Daddy and I daily with what you know and are able to figure out.  Your language has dramatically improved over the last year, and you are quick to let us know what you are wanting.  I love that about you.  Even at the young age of 2 you are clear about your likes and dislikes.  Your daddy and I were surprised when we asked you to clean up your toys and you responded with “Not Yet.”  Although this assertion has come with some challenges with finding ways to redirect you, we are thrilled with your ability to voice your opinions and we can see that this will be one of your great character strengths in the future.  Your witty and hilarious responses, such as “That is a great idea Mommy” bring many smiles.  Your delightful personality and character traits are developing more and more each day.  I hope that as your mother I can nurture and cultivate your strengths and support you with the difficulties you may encounter.

I have enjoyed being able to watch you grow, learn and discover.  Over the last year I have loved being able to introduce you to music classes, gymnastic classes, swim lessons, time in the garden, life with chickens and various story times.  Each experience seems to widen your interests and cultivate a curiosity for life.

It is hard to believe that your next birthday you will have a little baby brother or sister.  I know that you will be a terrific big sister and can’t wait to celebrate many more milestones, birthdays and memories with you in the future.  I love you more than words can express.  Thank you for the ultimate gift of being your mother. 

Love,

Mommy

Pause in the Playhouse

Today I am thankful for my husband and my partner through life.  In the midst of a trying day with little Brylie I was beginning to feel tired and out of sorts.  She was resisting her otherwise very consistent nap time and fully utilizing her ability to whine at just about anything.  This is unlike her typical behavior and caught me quite off guard.  After texting Nick letting him know that our 20 month old daughter was giving me a serious run for my money he said "I am sorry... Go let her play in her playhouse and relax outside!!!"  In that moment he gave me an outlet for both of our moods.  Normally it would have dawned on me for the need to take a break and regain composure and momentum, but today for some reason I was resisting it, dragging my feet and attempting to struggle through the day to day activities.  The fresh air, cool breeze, warm sun, time in the garden and water play left us reenergized and back on track.  I appreciate my husbands ability to kindly suggest an activity that transformed our moods and lifted our spirits.  I appreciate my husband for realigning my focus.  I appreciate his understanding nature that sometimes the housework may take a momentary backseat so I can pay attention to our highest priority.  I appreciate the respect that he has for the work I do in the home and with Brylie.  I appreciate my husband for being everything and more than I could have ever imagined in a husband and a father.  I appreciate my husband for being my rock who without question or hesitation is always here for me.  I am honored that he chose me to be his wife nearly 5 years ago. I look forward to a lifetime of memories with a man that I am proud to call my husband and friend.
  

This is the playhouse that Nick built for Brylie while we were away on vacation. It was such a thoughtful surprise to come home to.

I can't get enough of this smiling happy face. 

Gratitude at the Dining Room Table

In the midst of reading an incredible book "Bloom" about a family's journey of acceptance, transformation and appreciation a quote took me by surprise and resonates deep within my soul.

"I wonder if gratitude is the uniformed doormen of the heart needing to be healed."- Kelle Hampton

I have felt this so strongly since Ryan's death.  The need to cling to the truth that there are still things in life to be valued, cherished, treasured and grateful for.  I can see now that this can be a way to help the heart to heal from pain that feels to big to bear.  It is a way of allowing the mind to stay clear and present to the things that still matter.  I have so many things in my life that I am grateful for.  The list is endless and I am reminded of them often as I flip through the pages in my gratitude journal that carefully outlines the abundant blessings in my life that come in so many forms.

Today I want to take notice of a few things that have been particularly tugging at my heart strings and making me aware of my feelings of gratitude.  Family dinners have become an valued routine in our household.  Although they are important let me preface this by saying that family dinners need not be fancy, elaborate or even home cooked to evoke the feelings that I am so grateful for.  The importance of the dinners is the connectedness that I feel within our small family.  A moment to slow down and appreciate one another free from outside distractions even if only for a few precious minutes.  The routine begins with Brylie sitting at the head of our dining room table in her high chair with Nick and I on either side.  Brylie usually takes a few bites of her food and then closes her eyes reaches out her tiny little hands and says the word "bessing."  To most people this wouldn't mean much, but to Nick and I it means the world.  Our little Brylie is the one who encourages us on most nights to say a blessing and to take time to give thanks for our life, our journey, and our family.  Each time we do this I too with half closed eyes watch as Brylie's adorable face tries to keep her beautiful blue eyes closed and anxiously awaits the last line where she can say "amen" and clap with excitement.  This little child reminds me each day that there is beauty in most everything.  She has taught me that being a mommy is the most rewarding and challenging thing I will ever do.  That each joy and heartache deserves moments of gratitude for the incredible journey we are on and the life that is transformed by that journey.

This picture was taken on Valentine's Day 2012 and looks like many of our family dinners gathered around our table.  

Brother Bear

I have been reluctant to write on the blog for some time.  It is hard to get past the tragedy that has taken place since my last post.  I feel compelled to address this aspect of our life before continuing to post about what our family has been up to.  My heart has been dealing with the pain and loss of my baby brother.  I can’t even begin to describe or put into words the sadness that is felt when someone you love leaves this world. 

Through this difficult time I am learning a lot about myself.  I am learning the reality that loss and suffering in life is inevitable and how dramatically it can alter and affect the lives of those touched to the one who is lost.  I am learning that it is your response to the loss that can make all the difference.  Your response involves the choices you make, the grace you receive and the transformation that you allow to take place.   I am learning that the choices I am choosing for myself are to live in the present, be filled with gratitude and take advantage of every moment.  I am learning the grace that can be received through God, family and friends.  I am learning that I am stronger than I ever imagined possible.  I am learning that dealing with loss is a journey that is sometimes met with unforeseen challenges, obstacles and sadness. 

Ryan you will be forever missed, but I feel your spirit and presence around me constantly.  I am learning that even though you are no longer here physically that I can incorporate your inescapable presence in almost every aspect of my life.  I feel you in the stillness of the open air, the beauty of the outdoors, the love and innocence of Brylie, the strength of the wind that blows so furiously against the window panes, the playfulness of Bella, the transformation within a sunset, but most importantly I feel you within my heart daily.  You are and will always be such a treasured part of who I am.

Ryan I have faith that we will meet up again one day, but until that day comes I am happy to know that you are my angel brother bear above.  I love you!!

This picture was taken of Ryan and Brylie days after her birth.  He was so loving, kind and protective of his niece. 

 Ryan with his sisters and nieces a moment to be remembered and cherished.  

Leading up to Christmas

The months leading up to Christmas seem to be somewhat of a blur.  We spent a lot of time with family, tried to stay busy and allowed time to heal and grieve from the loss of my brother.  Below are some pictures from various days in November and December. 

 A visit from Aunt Lisa at Dad's house with Brylie and Avery.

 Brylie working on her golf game.

 Grandbrad and Brylie enjoying some peace and quiet on the stairs.

 Brylie enjoying some time on the swing with her monkey hat.

 Day at the park.

Mommy and Brylie had a picnic in the backyard and searched for airplanes flying above.  It is moments like this one that make my heart sing with gratitude for life and love.

 A trip to Home Depot with Daddy.

Brylie all dressed up for Church. She is such a big girl that she has moved from Duck pond (area for  babies) to Turtle Bay (walkers- 2 years old).  She is growing up so quickly.

A beautiful double rainbow!!  On most days I would have glanced at a spectacle like this and not given it much thought.  I may have been too caught up in the daily goings on to truly appreciate the beauty, but today was different.  I stood outside getting wet from the rain admiring the wonder of God's creation.  I thought of Ryan and how I believe he is playing in the heavens and among the angels.  I thought of how much I love him, miss him, and appreciate the moments we had.   In this brief moment in time I was reassured that God is powerful, God is everywhere, and that God is good.  I am thankful for these moments.  Thankful for the beauty that is in the world, thankful for opportunity to think of my brother when I see this type of beauty, thankful for the moments of gratitude, and thankful for my life.      

Halloween

Brylie is getting to be so much fun to involve in holiday activities.  This year for Halloween she loved helping to carve the pumpkins.  Although reluctant at first to get her hands dirty she quickly learned the fun that can be had with getting pumpkin goop on your fingers.  This year we decided to go for themed costumes that could involve the whole family.  Brylie was our little Horton the Elephant, Bella was Cat in the Hat and Nick and I were Thing 1 and Thing 2.  She knows the characters pretty well from the decor in her nursery, so it was a perfect idea for our family.

 Brylie was very curious about carving pumpkins.  She watched Daddy carefully before deciding that she would join in the fun.

 Her cute little smile says it all :)

 Daddy and Brylie working hard on cleaning out the pumpkins before we could carve them.

Halloween morning with her Horton the Elephant stuffed animal.

Brylie and I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few last minute items.  She loved the pumpkin balloon.  

 My mom, aunt Kathy and Shelden joined us for dinner.  I made halibut, asparagus, and quinoa stuffed in peppers that I carved to look like jack o'lanterns.  It was a lot of fun.

Brylie had her own bell pepper pumpkin dinner, but found it tough to eat with her elephant trunk that kept getting in the way.

The cutest little Elephant I have ever seen.

 Loved the little tail on her costume.

Brylie and her crazy parents.  

 Family pic in front of our pumpkins.

Brylie and Mommy trick or treating.  

Brylie's 1st Birthday Party

It was so much fun putting together Brylie's 1st Birthday celebration.  I loved reliving all the pictures and memories over the last year and cherishing all that she has brought into our world.  Brylie has been nicknamed Monkey since birth so it was only fitting that it would be her first birthday theme.  There was a piñata, BBQ, memory wall, video montage and more.  I look forward to organizing and celebrating many more birthdays with my wonderful daughter.  We are so thankful for the family and friends who came and showered our precious child with love.  It means so much to have your love, support, and friendship.

 Brylie was so interested in the decorations.  She loves balloons and could not get enough of the monkey balloons.

 Mommy and Brylie in front of the dessert table.

 Shel, Brylie and Mommy.  Shelden and Becky came down the night before to help set up for the party.  It was so helpful to have them around and we loved their company.

Aunt Becky, Brylie and Mommy.

 Brylie showing off her "cheese" smile and her birthday onesie and bloomers.

 It is amazing to me how quickly she has grown.  I hung some of our favorite clothes from newborn to 12 months.

 Lunch was sliders, corn on the cob (Brylie loves it), potato salad etc.

 Table outside with bananas, bubbles, coloring and curious george fruit snacks.

 The birthday girl's hat and bib

 My wonderful mommy and Brylie.

 Photo wall of pictures from each month.

Mymouse, my mom and Brylie.

 Brylie showing her "O" face which we jokingly say is to support Oregon.

Uncle Ryan, Brylie and Mymouse

There are few things as magical as watching the love between my husband and our daughter.  It warms my heart to see their relationship develop and know how much they love each other.

 Daddy is enjoying a hug from his birthday girl

 The wonderful Broughton Family our friends from church. Their daughter, Ellery is only a month younger than Brylie.  I imagine they will be great friends.

 My and my dad.

 Enjoying the video I made of Brylie's first year.

 Aunt Kathy who came to celebrate even though she just underwent hip surgery and Shel spending some time with Brylie.

All dressed up and ready for some cake.

Jack and Lauren help Brylie celebrate.

Brylie checks out her monkey cake I baked for her.

 Her first time eating cake and she doesn't quite know what to think.

 Uncle Brian and Darryl

 Monkey piñata time

So fun to see the kids scurry to get treasures (goldfish, cheerios, crayons, sunglasses, bracelets, monkey tattoos etc.)

 Darryl, Uncle Travis, Leana, and Aunt Becky enjoying the party.

 Kaley and Chris other friends from church and Nick's best friend Cory.

Our sweet neighbors Sarah and her daughter Kaitlyn.

 The Viola family who I met over 7 years ago and feel very blessed to have come to know.  They are a wonderful family.